RUBIN QUARCOOPOME
One Day It'll All Feel Better

I felt such an intense grief. It took my breath away, most days. It permeated every muscle. It boiled every tear. It muted the colors of the world, soured the food, disrupted the sounds, and violently opposed all moments of joy. I learned very quickly that there are fewer, deeper pains than agonizing invisibly, and fewer examples of catharsis than being seen in suffering. A frequent soothing phrase I heard was, "One day it'll all feel better." I resented that at first. How could THIS pain ever have end? How could there every be a brighter day ahead when every moment in the present ached? As the weeks turned to months, I began to feel something new: growth. I began to accept the loss. I began to see the possibilities of a brighter future. I began to see, in the space my heart once lived full to bursting was room to grow stronger from the pain. I began to feel the growth alongside the grief.

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